


midnight reverie

by theblingmonster



Category: Bleach
Genre: Character Thoughts, F/M, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-14 00:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21006737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblingmonster/pseuds/theblingmonster
Summary: hisana is tired of staying in bed all day due to her illness and wishes for a night of freedom. byakuya, however, isn't sure how to feel about it.





	midnight reverie

it had been a pleasant transition to watch. the swirls of fierce reds and burning oranges streaking across the sky, golden crimson feathering out into the clouds like wings of a phoenix, bold and everlasting as it stretched off into the lingering rays of the sun as it began to disappear beyond the point of no return. as the horizon slowly seized the sun, its bold colors gradually faded, what was once powerful scarlets and marigolds were soon swallowed by cool blues and rich purples, hungrily enveloping the sky until twilight was lost and dusk was born.

there was something comforting about the distant transition of colors, seeing what was once so bright and fearless settle into something more soft and alluring. if hisana could, she would watch the sun dip beneath the horizon every day and wait with bated breath for the subsequent rise of the midnight moon.

but alas, these days her health has rendered her completely bedridden and she would be lucky if she had enough energy by dusk to maneuver herself out of bed to enjoy the beautiful vista that the kuchiki manor offered. every day she would awake with weight laying heavy on her chest and a tickle in her throat that sometimes itched and sometimes burned. her bones were brittle, joints were sore, and making it to her morning bath required the help of two handmaidens.

her hair would be combed and her thin frame dressed in the most exquisite of kimonos. today it was pink with delicate bluebirds embroidered into the expensive material, such a beautiful garment worn only to be buried beneath blankets when she was returned to bed. her life had become a mindless cycle of similar routines and similar surroundings, she had even counted all of the wooden panels on the wall in front of her futon. it was very easy to simply forget to think at all, especially when sleep was the only thing she was ordered to do.

she would typically retreat for bed during sunset, unable to watch the shift from light to dark except for whatever flutter of color managed to peek through the bottom of the sliding doors that led out to their private garden. even then, her eyes would be bleary and all she could make out from between her tangled lashes and glossy vision was a pathetic mix of colors that looked no different than a child-like splatter of paint in an ocean; blending and sinking into nothing before she even got the chance to blink.

today, however, was different. she had spent an unusual amount of time resting during the morning. usually she would take her morning bath, be groomed for the day, then spend her mornings with a cup of green tea and a book she had found tucked away in her husband’s personal library. she was in bed, yes, but she was very much awake and very much present. if not this, then she would beg her handmaidens to enjoy a morning stroll through the manor to stretch her weak limbs and have a much-needed change of scenery. this was to no avail of course. the handmaids would never agree to allow behavior that could possibly put her health in jeopardy, and as much as hisana believed that simply walking would by no means pose a threat to her immediate health, she understood their concern.

her health was a very delicate thing. she had caught so many colds in the past year that she had come to accept the shivering and coughing and fevers as simply part of her lifestyle. because of this, whenever she had to go somewhere, the maids would follow her around relentlessly, obsessively watching over her every move as if she would break simply from breathing. it was, of course, bothersome to not have a moment to herself that was not restricted to the walls of her private chambers. 

but she could not blame them for their behavior, though. no, they were merely doing their job. after all, it was due to her own illness that the maids were always so tense around her. she had collapsed on numerous occasions and even once bumped her head during a tumble down the steps that led to the main garden. after that particular incident, she was watched like a hawk, and she had a feeling that her husband had something to do with the sudden increase in surveillance.

‘what a worrisome man.’ hisana thought to herself, a thin smile lengthening her lips. she was now sitting on the last step leading to the main kuchiki manor garden. she had forced her body to sleep the entirety of the morning, believing that dedicating herself to nothing but rest earlier in the day would grant her more energy during the afternoon and evening, giving her an opportunity to see the sunset. and to her surprise, her hypothesis had been proven correct. she awoke that afternoon with hopefully enough energy to see the entirety of the sunset, and perhaps she would even have enough for a bit of stargazing if she was lucky.

hisana had told her handmaidens that she would be resting the entire day which left them at ease to not fuss over her and focus their attention on other matters that needed attending to. a little white lie it had been, and thus allowed her the freedom to escape to the main garden for a bit of time. it was a rare occasion that she was quite glad that her reiatsu was so weak and her footsteps so quiet, she had gone completely unnoticed…

she had settled herself on the last stair before stepping onto the fields of grass that covered the luscious lawns of the kuchiki manor main garden. her dress was simple today since she had forgone her morning grooming. a plain yukata and haori would do fine to protect her from the evening chill.

she had eagerly watched the light of the sun fight and flicker until it blew out, its ask turning to smoke and smoke gradually draping the sky in a dark blanket without a wrinkle to be seen. the moon was high, carved into a crescent, and she was enamored with the way the garden flowers captured the moonlight between their folds, illuminating all the gentle creases in their pedals, white light dripping into the shadows of their creases, defining them in a way the previous sunlight simply could not. even the pond was fully aglow with the gentle glow of the stars reflecting off the ripples made from the fish fluttering about beneath the surface.

the vista was absolutely breathtaking. everywhere she looked her eyes were captured by something new, something beautiful, something that the wooden panels in her chambers could not compare to really…

part of her felt guilty for sneaking out, as she knew that if something terrible were to befall her whilst missing from the watchful eyes of her handmaidens, the punishment for them would be severe. but she only planned to stay out for an hour at most, and everyone needed a bit of time for themselves, no matter how sick they were….

this much was okay, wasn’t it? sitting beneath the stars and breathing in the midnight air was fine enough. a particularly chilly breeze caused her to pull her haori closer around her small shoulders. she began to shiver, the feeling rolled down her spine in such a familiar way that she smiled, albeit a strained one. she closed her eyes and allowed herself to escape reality for a few moments. an imaginative spell lifted her spirit from the prison of her body and she was able to fly away from the kuchiki manor and dance with the stars as they cradled the moon.

her spirit skipped and leaped and circled around the little glittering spots in the sky and waltzed around the moon like a dazzling affair. eyes closed her body swayed from left to right as her spirit danced a dream-like course along the violet sky. she cheekily flirted with swatches of blue melted into the black background of the night, and she spun pirouettes between shooting stars and lost comets. she was like a summer swan, sailing through the dark without the shackles of her body holding her down.

hisana’s mind continued to wander, left and right, here and there, this and that, and sometimes nothing at all. her spirit was free for however long it could be and it felt wonderful to do something, anything that wasn’t making the impression of her body in her futon deeper. 

soon she imagined that she was an eagle. soaring high above the shapeless clouds, overlooking all of seireitei. eyes still closed, she stood from where she sat and took a few careful steps forward onto the grass. she stretched her arms out on either side of herself, the sleeves of her haori fluttering in the night breeze, and tilted her body gracefully from left to right, as if her sleeves were her wings and her body truly was flying above the entirety of her world.

hisana could see all from where she flew; every building whose window sills were dimly lit by the burning wax of a candle, every nighttime wanderer traversing the streets on their way home, every firefly and cricket that flexed their wings and set out to begin their day while the rest of the world retired. she was so caught up in her fantasy that she barely noticed the familiar pulse of reiatsu that had been steadily approaching her for some time now….

“you are indeed a difficult woman to keep track of, kuchiki hisana..”

frightened out of her reverie, hisana’s eyes shot open. she flinched and brought her arms into her chest tightly before she could recognize who had approached her. a gasp lingered on her tongue but never made it into the air because her body relaxed and her gaze softened when she noticed that it was her husband, standing a few mere feet from her. she wondered how long he had been watching her for, the thought of him having seen her act so silly embarrassed her. she sheepishly lowered her head into a respectful bow.

“i heard that your mission would take the entirety of the weekend, my lord…” hisana murmured, her violet eyes peeking up through her dark lashes at byakuya. it was true, one of the reasons she had chosen today to trick her handmaidens was because she was not expecting her husband to be home for another day. unlike the others, he was quite used to sensing her reiatsu, however feeble it may be.

byakuya’s expression was impassive as he stared at her, his arms tucked into the long sleeves of his haori, his dark eyes were steady, trained, and void of any hint into how he was feeling. his presence never ceased to make her nervous, but that was warranted, he was indeed a very intimidating man…

but she was his wife. and that initial bit of nervousness soon turned into flirtatious anxiety that seemed to always grip her whenever he stared at her like this. her heart fluttered and she rose her head from its bow, though her eyes quickly resigned themselves to the corner of her geta. “i take it that your mission went well and you have returned early…?”

“mhm.” his response was short and he closed the distance between them with several slow footsteps, dark eyes never leaving her face even if she kept her own eyes distracted elsewhere out of sheer bashfulness. her cheeks, previously bitten pink by the outdoor chill, were now a pure red from his unwavering gaze.

hisana’s eyes remained downcast while she heard a rustle of cloth as byakuya removed an arm from his sleeve to cup her chin between his fingers and turn her attention towards him. “why do you disobey me so…?” he murmured, the deep hum of his voice seeming more curious than angry. his eyes had narrowed a bit, lips pulling into a slight frown. after all, it was under his command that she remain in bed as much as possible.

whilst her chin was still captured between his fingers and her eyes were forced to meet his own she spoke in a small voice. “i do not mean to disobey you, my lord. i was called here, you see, the sunset was far to beautiful today to ignore….perhaps i am a bit too self-indulgent..”

“perhaps?” byakuya slowly rose a brow at this, his thumb carefully stroking into the small dip right beneath her lower lip.

“my apologies, my lord. i have worried you, haven’t i?” hisana felt entranced by his gaze, her words nothing more than a mere whisper. she swallowed a bit, eyes searching his own indiscernible ones with fervor.  
her heart was energetic in her chest, there was something about this man that always managed to electrify her pulse and turn the rest of her body into a malleable mess. she felt as though she could collapse into his arms right then and there since he rendered her so uselessly weak, so uselessly and blissfully weak…

her small hand rose and carefully held his wrist as if to steady herself. her fingertips were turning a bit blue, a dramatic reaction to only having been outside for under an hour. her body was sensitive, though, even this amount of exposure to the chill of the night had her skin cold enough for concern.

“yes, you have..” byuakuya lowered his hand from her chin and carefully took both of her smaller hands into his larger ones. his hands were warm, and worked to snuff out the cold that clung to hers. “i am always worried about you, hisana. you are…my wife after all..”

“please forgive me, my lord. i do not wish to worry you. i simply did not…could not spend another evening in bed, even if just for one hour—“

“i need not your explanation. i understand your intentions.” byakuya interjected quietly. he rose hisana’s smaller hands and lowered his head, pressing his lips carefully to where her hands met in the middle. “but even so, hisana, even so..” his breath fanned hotly against her skin and she felt a little dizzy from it all.

hisana’s eyes softened as she watched her husbands lips hover her knuckles, his warm breath helping thaw out her hands. “then would it not ease your worries if you accompanied me tonight…? i selfishly ask of you, my lord, to sit with me for a few more minutes..” her fingertips grazed his jaw when he moved back from her. she watched him with anticipation as he closed his eyes and returned his arms to the inside of his sleeves.

“come, then.” byakuya’s tone was soft but his expression remained stoic as he took seat on the step she had been previously occupying. hisana smiled, grateful for his indulgence of her selfish wishes, and she sat carefully beside him. it had gotten colder since byakuya had arrived, and even though the drop in temperature would have barely been noticeable to anyone else, her body shivered with the next incoming breeze, retreating into itself a little. but, she did not complain, she simply relished in the peace of being in her husband’s presence all the while exercising her mind by dreaming useless dreams wide awake beneath the stars.

soon enough byakuya’s haori found its way around her shoulders and it was slightly amusing to him how his garment seemed to swallow her small frame whole. a sudden sadness seemed to wash over him, though, as amused as he was to see how her small stature compared to his, her body truly was weak. 

they had recently celebrated their fifth year of marriage beneath the summer sun, just the two of them much to their family member’s displeasure. byakuya was well aware of how his family elders felt about hisana, and with her declining health he wanted nothing to cause her any stress, especially the judgmental stares of his family. a few weeks prior hisana had picked out a beautiful white kimono to wear for their intimate ceremony, one adorned with delicate lace and beads. she was fit for it, the fabric tailored to her body specifically, but even though only a few weeks had passed since she bought it, on the day of their anniversary the kimono did not fit. it was too big, almost comically big with how it overwhelmed her. it was shocking to him how much weight she had lost in just a matter of a few weeks, and as he held her in his arms beneath the shade of the trees on that summer’s day, he had the frightening thought that she’d somehow disappear, that their days beneath the sun were numbered, that death was looming and even he, a shinigami, was helpless in its path.

even so, it was a joyous affair, he had pushed those thoughts aside and they had spent a beautiful, intimate evening together.

though byakuya was by no means an unrealistic man, his pride kept him from putting value in trivial things that would be proven to be untrue. so even though he had willed himself to ignore the signs, with each passing year of their union he had grimly witnessed hisana’s overall health deteriorate. the woman who he had first met, cold and alone on the streets of rukongai, was so very different than the woman he sat beside today.

her skin was paler, bones more evident as they protruded from her hips and collar, even her cheekbones seemed more defined than he remembered them to be. and her lips, once the most beautiful shade of pink, had paled into nothing more than a distant memory of its former color. he still believed hisana to be the most beautiful woman in all of the soul society, that had not changed, but the more her illness wore on her features, the more apparent its severity became. even the kuchiki family elders who only saw hisana once in a while could notice the difference, and as much as he thought their opinion on his personal matters to be nonsensical and useless, he could not deny that their concern now was well founded.

so he had thought that restricting her movement would be the best solution to protect whatever vitality she had left. perhaps it was selfish of him to keep her in their chambers, have her watched from dawn to dusk, like a prisoner in her own home. but he was her husband, it was his duty to protect her even if it was at the expense of a few liberties…

but with handmaidens reporting to him hisana’s pleas to wander the manor, to traverse the streets of seireitei and breathe in the crisp morning air moist with morning dew and all, he began to second guess his initial solution to the problem. was he right to forbid her of the simple things that brought her pleasure? or was it simply just the price to pay to prolong their time together? it was a rarity that there was something he was unsure about. sometimes he pondered discussing it with her, but doing such would disrupt the peaceful bubble of ignorance they had promised themselves to. they lived in this realm, where hisana was ill but her life was still promising, they still had their twilights and midnights to share together for infinities to come. this was the only time he allowed himself to be unrealistic, to believe in something so blatantly false, because the thought of hisana’s face twisting in grief of him telling her that he knew her days were numbered was really too much to bear…

her condition hung like a dark cloud over them, over their marriage, neither of them wanting to speak to the other about what they both knew so they pretended. even today they were pretending, pretending like he could not feel how badly she was shivering against his body, pretending like she could not see the extent of his concern. to themselves, it was okay to worry and beg and plead and pray, but within the presence of each other ignorance was the most peaceful bliss.

even now, though, he still wondered if this was truly alright, to indulge her like this, to allow her to sit out on chilly nights like these when he very well knew it would consequence a morning of fitful coughing and strained breathing. his eyebrows knit in the middle as he gruelingly mulled over his decisions. he did not want to treat his wife as a prisoner to their home, no, he wanted nothing more than to grant her everything she desired beneath the stars. but what if, what if, what if…

a slight tug on the sleeve of his yukata pulled him from his thoughts. he opened his eyes slowly, and turned his attention to hisana who was still gripping the fabric of his sleeve. “you are truly a worrisome man, my love..” hisana smiled apologetically and rose her hand to brush aside the loose strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes during his concentration. “a wife should not cause her husband to despair in such ways..” she mumbled, her small fingers resting beneath his cheekbone.

“you cause me no such despair.“ he moved his arm around her shoulders to invite her closer to him, pressing her thin frame to his side. she eagerly accepted the invitation and rested her head upon his shoulder, the warmth of his haori and his body expelling every bit of chill from her body. “you always harbor such silly thoughts, hisana,” he turned his head and pressed his lips into her hair.

“silly thoughts from a silly woman,” hisana chuckled quietly. she looked up and studied the sky, dedicating it to her memory since she could not be sure of the next time she would be allowed outside on her own. she was eternally grateful to byakuya for allowing her to stay out as long as he was, he truly was all too kind to her and she was all too undeserving. “a silly woman and her silly dreams of the stars..” she closed her eyes after that, her smile gradually fading as she suddenly felt tired even though she was sure she would have enough energy to spend at least an hour not subject to the confines of their bed.

byakuya was silent, quietly observing his wife as the spell of the night lulled her to sleep with dreams of feathers and flowers lingering behind her closed eyes. before long she had all but fallen asleep, tucked comfortably into his side. he somehow managed to transfer her from where they sat outside to the warm safety of their private chambers without disrupting her rest. 

he laid her on their futon like she was a porcelain doll, mindful of her head as it touched their silk pillows, careful of her shoulders and knees, and ever so mindful of the draft coming from the sliding doors that led to their own, private garden ways away from the main one. it was smaller and housed more of byakuya’s own preference of koi fish and orchids, but hisana seemed to enjoy the ambiance of the larger garden more, perhaps because it not only had a spectacular array of different flowers and bushes, but the trees were also taller and the pond even had a little stone bridge that led to a wooden pagoda that she often sought refuge under with one of the novels she’d sneakily kidnapped from his library. it had been the first place he checked for her tonight when he noticed that she was not in bed.

regardless of where she had gone, however, he did feel a twinge of happiness prick his heart at the fact that she herself was happy. he pulled their thick blanket up to her chin and then covered her with an extra hand made quilt that had been gifted to them for their anniversary from some of the kuchiki elders. it was a beautiful thing, kitted together with thick white yarn, perfect for nights like these when one blanket, he deemed, would not be enough to keep her warm.

once he was satisfied with how she was tucked into bed and blew out the candle and relaxed himself to bed for the remainder of the night. it was a fitful sleep, though, because even though hisana was alive and breathing by his side, the eerie thought that this happiness would be fleeting at best coiled in the pit of his stomach and in the recesses of his mind. if his time with her was limited, then perhaps an evening underneath the stars would not be so bad. perhaps the sight of her pale lips straining into a smile not big enough to contain her happiness was worth the consequences. perhaps all of his worries and anxieties about prolonging her life were all in vain, and instead, her happiness in the moments she was alive was most important.

perhaps the fluttering in his heart from seeing her from afar with her arms stretched out and head in the clouds was enough.

perhaps this much was enough.

perhaps…

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for any grammar mistakes, thank you for reading! :)


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